:: Dreams and Other Chimera ::

:: 30.5.03 ::

How do you stand? Do you trip and fall? Do you run free, steady as a mountain, standing tall. Do you wobble, does the world tilt and pan? Does the bottom drag you down, or the top hang you from the side? Do your toes scrape your ankles twist knees bend slightly as you accept the weight?

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Take a chest of drawers, and stand it in a field, add a desk and chair, lob on a coffee table and a pair of chez... Stand it all up and add the dining room table, and place your favorite wing on the top. Done yet? No. Keep it going, I still got a ottoman/bookcase/side table/mantle/door I can use. Get it all into a precarious pile.


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Where do you stand?

:: James [+] ::
...

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the road less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost

It amazes me to think, how this poem alters thought.

It always seems better for most people to take the road less travelled by, all the time idealizing the words it speaks.

It speaks to curiousity, and rebellion, and independance. It is a creed, to some. A longing dream to others.

The call to always take the road less travelled.

It burns its siren cry, which I have always heeded. But today, like Odysseus's crew I have stuffed wax into my ears.

Now comes the indecent question. Is the road that I travelled today the road less travelled to me, or less travelled to the rest of us? How is this road the road less travelled?

Which awnser will make the difference?

:: James [+] ::
...

Imagine...

The world is a model of ours, however barren, and without technology. For, technology is unnesisary. The world would be green, and vibrant. Teeming with life, and spattered with people. All the details and trivialties of human kind will still show through. Humans still have their almost viral presence, using the land and giving almost nothing back. The main difference between this world and ours is that all are gifted with the sixth sense. All can feel and manipulate some sort of magical energy.

Imagine this race of flying, charged humans, living their life from moment to moment, charged like firecrackers and twice as volatile.

In following with peoples hopes and desires, there must be differences between ability, and intelligence, and strength. All will not be equal as with total equality, there would be little strife. Strife is a must. You will have those who are better with feeling, those who have tricks but little else, and even those who have almost nothing metaphysical that they can call a gift.

In order for those of lesser status to make themselves match their betters, they must band togeather. They will form some sort of organization or association to make their numbers more overbearing to those who would strike off alone. The mastery of the manipulation of multiple power sources suddenly becomes more important. and such an age of tyranny will begin as petty rivalries and minor fights will become wars. The age of mass slaughter and assimilation will begin.

The evolution won't stop there however, as the strongest of these grouped beings will become powerful enough, and feared enough that they will be able to put down rules for more than one to follow, they will begin to control all that they can see, and sense, and feel. However the problem with this is that more will be less controlled than there were before, and so the system will breakdown as further assimilation is stalled by having to reinforce control out of the base allies.

In a way, however, the strongest, the one who originally formed the union is the one who is still obeyed. The organization, is usually subject to the whims of only the one who originally formed it. He will, in his rules, ensure guidance into the future is maintained, and also that in the future, past his death, that his practices are still followed. In the end, all of his allies and retainers function only to serve his will.

And so it goes, with alliances forming and breaking, and every so often, one powerful enough makes his way to the surface, and either blazes into the power that only other coalition have, or leads his own. Anyone has this opportunity, through force of will alone, or wits.

Has your mind filled with this image?

Would you like to live here?

Mabey your already do.

:: James [+] ::
...

To the owner of the silver Altimera, Licence# IMA 455, I only have a couple things to say.

Firstly, yes, I indeed was stopped in the middle of the road for no apperent reason. This, however assumes that you have the perception skills of a mole, as the place where I was stopped was also just in front of a fire department, and, if you'd checked closely, the big light over and also to the right of it, were flashing. These would be the large red lights that mean 'Oh look, a very large truck with lights flashing and siren blairing is about to come screaming out of the doors, make a hard turn, and go down the road. You should stop to prevent yourself from being in its path.'

Now it is possible that you noticed this light as well, if so, did you pause to consider that there might have been another truck comming, I mean all 4 were clearly parked there, another might have been following it.

Now that that is out of the way, I can appreciate your need to be somewhere, and feeling that passing may be the best course of action. Why the heck did you think that it was allright to pass in a 2 way street, with only the parking lane being the room to pass in? Didn't this strike you as ludacrus as there was only about 50 meters of clear lane? Passing while across from a fire station, not do! Just like passing when someone is stopped by the crosswalk.

Oh and one more thing, when you chose to honk at me and give me the finger as I had accelerated after the light was over and you were trapped by the parked car I can only say that you were solely responsable for your situation, and cutting off the guy behind me, didn't make you any more correct.

Haven't been this angry at traffic in a long time.

:: James [+] ::
...

Something amusing happened to me at work yesterday.

My boss had bought a new calculator for us to use, I won't go into how much this calculator sucks but it does. Anyway he a Front Office Manager from another hotel in his office with him and was chatting away while I was tearing the desk apart so I could find an appropriate place to plug said calculator in, to do this I was kneeling on all fours.

"There is the position for a man, kneeling. Should I get you a mop." She said.

I didn't really say much, aside from that I was in a reasonable amount of pain, because on Tuesday evening I had gone out with the Slater Brothers and Kestral, the elder's child. While out we were playing on the playground equipment and I jumped down off a couple high pieces. Once you pass 20 apperently, you can't take regular 6-8 foot drops without practice anymore. My left knee likes to bruse from regular impact. Anyway, I kind of related this to her.

"And you're how old?" she asks with this disbelief that I could actively go out and play as a child.

I had to bite back the retort of "Younger than you."

Aah the sweet memories that come when you shake out your pants and get about 3 handfuls of sand.

:: James [+] ::
...

Whatever.

The metaphores of my life stripped away.

So tired.

Make it stop....

:: James [+] ::
...

Man its getting bad, I really need to go to Calgary. I don't think that my parents would approve of me walking out of my job to go visit them though. I need to go somewhere where I can relax....

:: James [+] ::
...

So I did actually find that second copy of Sevas Tra from Otep, I know that Nightshade may have wanted to borrow it, is there anyone else?

Also on a music related note I ask all those who like listening to my scream metal with me to eagerly await My Ruin's upcomming album.

The rest of this week is gonna be strange, it goes work, day off, work, day off, work, day off, and then a bunch of working. One problem I have with this working is that when I work evenings, I can't play squash as my usual partner is sleeping when I can go...

:: James [+] ::
...

One thing that I never missed about nights but forgot how much I lothe is the smell of drunk people. I hate that smell, the stale yeasty waft of a person blitzed, I avoid the bar as they usually smell of that and sweat, and it gets rank, same goes for concerts. I used to get alot of it when I worked graves. Some single people or couples, acting fine but you know. This is also when I learned about the foot squeak. Since your fine motor skills are the first to go as inebriation hits you usually find that people don't quite lift there feet high enough, and they drag it on the ground slightly. The day draws to a close. I've talked to my family, watched some plays, worked, and am about to go out for some late night action. Its probabally not what you think.

Two other things of note, 2 of my more favorite bands have redone their webpages, and one of them added a webdiary that is well loved. Its a funny thing, most people when they set up these things, will set them up, and then either find the response under or overwhelming, or get bored and quit. Its hard to find weblogs and online diaries that are loved. Mine certainly finds little. It is amazing how much content was put up on that site, some people just know how to write. I've been considering having music links added to my page under the webcomics.

For the past week I have been working the lights at a festival called the Carnival of Shrieking Youth, or COSY. Now there a couple of things that I should say about COSY. Firstly is that for this year at least it should have been called the Carnival of Teenaged Angst. Not I appreciate a healthy bit of angst, but out of 10 shows only 3 wern't angst heavy, and one of those was about the Apocolypse. I'm not sure if the whole disillusioned youth thing isn't starting to get to me, but when I go to bed and lay awake brooding about the plays and how bitter most of the writers seem to the extent that I can't drop into some peaceful delusion and fall to sleep, theres a small problem. However there were 2 shows that made it all better, and one that made it not matter.

One of my favorite young actors is in these 3 shows, Its not that he can do so wrong, its more that he does so right. He has played a variety of characters and brings each one to its own right. I find it amusing that our local university has turned him down for a fine arts degree, it just means that he'll probabally end up doing better elsewhere.

One of the plays that I saw was kind of neat, but disturbing. The main character has engaged in some disturbing and highly illegal behavior that is a problem in North America and has a moral discussion with his dealer, then decides to kill himself. However there come some well written quotes from it, 'So it was your administration of my drugs, and not my drugs that was at fault, There can be no refund." and, "Life isn't a team sport, when it all boils down to it, you're on your own." Mabey not happy, but well written. I would write down the name of the play, but the name itsself would lead to the wrong sorta person reading this.

Finally is the Apocolypse play that isn't angsty. It was very good at 2 hours long. It made me wonder what I would do if I only had 7 days to live. Probabally waste them, but hey, it had a happy ending so thats good.

and thats my headspace for now

:: James [+] ::
...

Why is in anger everything clear, yet in bliss or joy it becomes indistinct and the details fade?

Kind of puts an anti-spin on the modern way of codification of everything, at least in my mind.

:: James [+] ::
...

Mebbe this whole watching plays thing isn't so bad. I saw one really decent one today, along with a reasonably well done comedy bonaza at the end. Saw may be a poor word for it however, cuz my seats are such that I can only see about half of the stage, and it seems that most of the plays use the other half for all the good bits, but I do have the studio monitor so good sound, and the stage manager is usually next to me so that I can kibitz with him, being on the other side of glass from everyone else.

Theres also some cute girls there, the problem is distinguishing the jail bait from the not.

If I was the sort to make moves, there is one stage manager who I would have, however I am not, I'll go sulk now.


Sleep......

:: James [+] ::
...

3 Lists.

Telus (ISP) died for a while this weekend and I couldn't log.

Going to days and evenings, with no consistant days off. Will be working essentially whenever.

Missed out on conversations with Nightshades et al yesterday.

Missed Nightshade tonight.

Sleep becomming a myth.

Back to Back shifts.

Not going to calgary on long weekend.

Missing David's playtest.

Flak.

High School students have no concept of drama.

Have no idea what the hell the sheet says.

Got wasted at squash despite partner breaking his racket midway through the game.

Racquet impacts of old bitemarks layered over by ball impacts.

Shin Splints.

Working on day off (tomorrow... er today.)

List two

Having money.

Actually doing somthing about my sorry excuse for a life.

Friends who appreciate me.

People actually asking me to do things.

Not being the person to keel over dead at my gym.

Having skills in demand.

Tierel

Afrikannas (language and people)

List 3.

I have several things that deserve honorary mention in this space. if you feel you know or are one, please add your name in the comments.

Sleepy.

:: James [+] ::
...