:: Dreams and Other Chimera ::

:: 24.8.03 ::

Clear out the burning sands, I'm too tired to sweep.
Drain the vile from my arms, I'm too alive to sleep.
I'll live the day, and fly my way.
I won't even make a peep.


Editors note: What the heck, a limerick? What've I been smoking, drain cleaner?

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sink to this level.

:: James [+] ::
...

Rattling and clattering around, hopefully with precision the dance is done. Sometimes slow and precise, others fast and wild the song can end at any time. Soon it shall be done.

Gyrating slowly with a clack they roll, softly and finally, seeking sleep in the depths, until they are ressurected. Straight as an arrow the action is called, how much is luck, how much is measured in a millameter and what is the remainder. All passes slowly beyond. A dance without measure.

Soon the dance is over and the conductor has taken his place again, to soak his dreams and fears. Once again, in his solace.

:: James [+] ::
...

All the worlds an object,
And all those objects have vectios and speeds.
When you combine these you get inerta.
Once a thing has inertia you can then figure
Its final energy state.
Once these things are created you then can plot distances.
And map it well. For once you may come to understanding.
Then deeper you go, and find densitys and compression values.
Now you can predict into the next dimension. And you no longer have
A snapshot.
All comes clear in basic, bad math.

:: James [+] ::
...

I don't know what to write, my brain has shut down....

I want to write something about my new job I think, but what to say?

How do you explain how much you like something comparatively, yet you know your just gonna get bored in a few months?

How do you dress that up into something else?

What metaphor is appropriate for real life?

:: James [+] ::
...

The night is now a blur, a hazy memory of sweat and heat. Focus is lost and atained, over and over, from a blur of light to the dark of night, to a pinpoint on the wall. The scene shifts and the floor is in evidence. Moving becomes instinctive, the act of picking up and putting down your feet, twisting at the middle, and who knows what else is just that. Forgotten. The scene shifts again and my vision has returned, filling with brightness and heating the dark. Its all I can do to be restrained and continue as before.

And I wonder now why I don't dance more.

On associated notes the dance went well but the sleep went poorley.

Calgary contains 2 leg injuries now.

Life, as all things, is bittersweet.

:: James [+] ::
...

Sturdy hemp binding planks and logs in order. They could be numbered. The raft floats down the river, its home astern and its goal ahead. The bamboo slides into the water, tilts, and slides back out. In order these things come and go like the rain until the final is done and the bow touches land, not fatally, not finally, but with force. I am here, because this is where I am and not where I was.

:: James [+] ::
...

The water is clear, but anything can fix that. Be it the heat, or the potato's, or any other sundry herb or spice. All the things you can add are added with care, creating perfect impuritys. making it absolutely clear to be unclear. Those cannot be removed, the water cannot be clear again, it can render and recollect, leaving a withered mass behind in the dirt.

:: James [+] ::
...

Hey.

So I am now enjoying my first day of unemployment. In fact, in about 15 minuites I will have been officially quit for like 24hrs. It was good, I went to Whyte avenue today and wandered around with Gjim.

So now I think that I may go nap some and get ready for my long ordeal of nothing I have planned for tonight. Hopefully this weekend I can end up in Calgary.

Insurance companies suck. I went on the 5th and told them to cancel my insurance, and even went so far as to get faxed confirmation back from them that the policy had been canceled. Yet on the 11th they still withdrew a bunch of money from my account, triggering the overdraft. This is annoying. I shoulda listened to Al who told me to get a stop payment put on the account. Unfortunetly the only chance I would have had to do this woulda been the 12th.

Bah.

So now I'm unemployed and broke. This reminds me of a couple years ago. I hate it already.

:: James [+] ::
...

Ya know, Its nights like tonight that I live for.

I may be drunk. So much so that I have problems typing coherently, but thats all good.

First off I would like to apologize to Angel who's game I ditched to go home because I was tired. I was and unsupriseingly I still am. I got home early and contemplated going to bed for a while when a friend of mine who lives down the block logged on.

Now I have no problems with sleeping at any time but we chatted briefly online and he was angry at things that his work had done to him. Now previous to this I had bought beer as an anesthetic, being that I went to tai chi last night and my legs still scream at me for this abuse. so no problem I talk to him some and then invite him over to have one of my anesthetic beers with me. He's over in a couple minuites and then the next 4 or 5 hours pass as a blur. Suddenly its like midnight and we've been talking for a long time about life, the universe and everything and been philosophizing, and deconstructing our lives to this point, and such.

It was cool. We both came out the wiser, and understand ourselves better, and each other. And now I feel valued. I was a shoulder to cry on. the confident. My role of choice. So I hope that all that I ditched tongiht can forgive me, but now I away to sleep. Have a good night.

:: James [+] ::
...

A day with a poor start and a good ending

Leaving me tired and fufilled

Doing the impossable was fun, as was impressing the elite.

Restarting that which I am somewhat known for

And destroying other that I am known for.

Complete.

:: James [+] ::
...

She is everything that I am and everything that I am not.
She has everything that I can hope to possess but will not.
Yet she extolls my virtues.
She believes in my strength
Takes faith in my courage
When I can only see hers.
Where I only see her merits and my flaws
She sees my merits and believes in them.
Where I can only see weeknesses she can only see strengths.
She believes in me.
When I cannot believe in myself.

:: James [+] ::
...

Everything is real.
nothing can be decieved.
Life carries on.
Soft goes to hard...


The moment takes over.
Everything is muted and lost...
Watercolors blur the landscape.

:: James [+] ::
...